#24 - Mingling With Your Monkey Mind

Lessons from "The Chimp Paradox"

Welcome to this weeks edition of Tuesday’s Rule. A breakdown of a “life-rule” that I find to be useful or interesting.

The term 'Monkey Mind' describes a "state of restlessness, capriciousness, and lack of control in one's thoughts”.

It certainly isn't a new term, with Chinese authors coining the expression in texts dating back as far as c. 406.

I first encountered it not in ancient Chinese teachings, but in Dr. Steve Peters' book, The Chimp Paradox , with the ambitious subtitle - The Mind Management Programme for Confidence, Success and Happiness.

This is the first book I'm breaking down in this 3-week mini-series on books I decided to reread.

As with most books, the inside covers are laced with kind words about the book and the ideas it contains. The difference here is that the words aren’t necessarily about the book itself but rather about Steve Peters, his methods and their impact on the careers of various athletes. Sir Chris Hoy, one of GB’s most decorated Olympians, went as far as saying, “Without Steve, I don’t think I would have won gold in Athens in 2004”.

This book has clearly changed lives. On rereading it, I’d go as far as to say it has changed my ability to think clearly when I’m at my sharpest.

Here’s what you need to know:

The book is divided into three sections: Your Inner Mind Explored, Day-to-day Functioning and Your Health, Success and Happiness. I’ll be focusing only on part one.

Exploring Your Inner Mind

The book is centred around a mental model that begins by dividing your brain into three: the Human, the Chimp and the Computer.

All you need to know about the Computer is that it is the memory storage that feeds information to the rest of the brain.

It’s the Human, the Chimp, and the relationship between the two where the fun lies.

When you were in the womb two different brains, the frontal (Human) and limbic (Chimp: an emotional machine), developed independently and then introduced themselves to each other by forming connections. The problem is that they found they were not in agreement about most things…

This is about as deep as any “science” in the book goes, but it helps to start by understanding that we are all born with both a Human brain and a Chimp brain. This duality is just part of being human.

This shows up every single day. When we talk to ourselves, reassure ourselves, or have battles within our own heads, our Human brain and our Chimp brain are likely disagreeing. 

Ever have thoughts and feelings you don’t want to have? Carry out behaviours that, at the time, you know you don’t really want to do? (a big yes for me). Chances are, that’s the Chimp brain taking control.

To reiterate, the Chimp within your head is a separate entity to you… It has a mind of its own and thinks with thoughts that are not yours.

Let’s look at a specific scenario.

In TR2, our rule was “control your controllables”, and we used an instance of a driver egregiously cutting us up as an example of attempting to react only to what is in our control. Let’s use the same example to see where our Human and Chimp brains differ.

A driver comes from nowhere on the motorway and cuts you up. He makes no effort to apologise and speeds off, leaving you reeling from a near collision.

The Human and the Chimp receive this information and interpret it.

The Chimp interprets this information with feelings and impressions. Once it has a sense of what is going on, it uses emotional thinking to organize things and make a plan.

In this example, it might be easy to imagine what that plan is. Chasing the driver down, shouting at the top of your voice, and being as creative as possible with hand gestures while keeping one hand on the wheel. Blood pressure to the moon.

The human, on the other hand, will interpret information by searching for facts and establishing the truth. When it has done this, it will put things together logically and form a plan based on this.

You can imagine the human brain being a little calmer. “OK, that wasn’t great driving, and a bit dangerous, but everyone is fine and I have no idea where or what that person has going on. For all I know, they could be racing to the birth of their first child.”

Why do we need a Chimp brain?

If we recognise that our human brain is our logical, thoughtful self, and the version that we want to present to the world most of the time, then we might ask, why do we need a Chimp brain? And why is it so strong?

The Chimp brain isn’t just an angry nuisance designed to pull you away from your goals and make you do things you don’t want to do. The purpose and the agenda of the Chimp is survival.

The “operational features” of the Chimp and how it functions are instincts and drives. Instincts include “fight, flight or freeze”, whilst drives include sex, dominance, territorial, troops and security.

We rely on our Chimp in dangerous situations. Rapidly choosing the right response to a threat is key to survival. If our prehistoric self was faced with danger in the wild, they would not have had the time nor the capacity to think through the response logically.

Alongside these survival instincts, the Chimp has strong drives.

If we didn’t have drives, we would just sit around and do nothing. Drives fulfilling needs that we have, both physical and emotional.

Sounds pretty valuable to me.

Managing the Chimp

Now we recognise what our Chimp brain is and why we have it, let’s talk about the need to manage our Chimp.

In fact, it is that which is the one rule I take from this book…

Manage Your Monkey Mind

While we have and need our Chimp brain for survival instincts, in modern life, it isn’t always our friend.

The fight, flight, freeze instinct referenced above might be helpful if a Brown Bear approaches us in the forest. But when we walk into a room full of new (and friendly) people and our Chimp goes into flight mode, wanting to get out as fast as possible, it requires management.

The first part of managing it is knowing it's there and its purpose. You must also understand the limitations and who the boss is. 

Start by owning it.

You might wish to give your Chimp a name and introduce yourself because it plays one of the biggest parts in your life. You (the Human) and your Chimp (your emotional thinking machine) will often do battle.

Then, recognise who is in charge.

The golden rule is that whenever you have feelings, thoughts or behaviour that you do not want or welcome, then you are being hijacked by your Chimp … e.g. You are worrying about something. You ask yourself, ‘Do I want to worry?’ If the answer is no, then it is not you worrying, but your Chimp. You now have a. choice to manage your Chimp and stop it hijacking you.

The final part of managing our Chimp (for our purposes) is knowing how to keep our Chimp happy so that it is used where it is useful and stays out of the way where it is not. The book lays out three techniques: Exercise, Box, and Banana. (Alongside this, I also recommend revisiting the Clear Thinking Pyramid).

Exercising the Chimp means letting it loose in a controlled environment—screaming into a pillow, letting yourself have a controlled rant to a friend, or letting out some frustration with a run. This will "calm down the Chimp so it can listen to reason or go back to sleep."

Boxing the Chimp is trying to reason with it: “You realise you’re anxious about nothing…” and the final way, the banana, refers to distractions and rewards. This might sound like the laziest way of managing, but it has its place. Your Chimp might not want you to get out of bed on a cold, rainy morning where the duvet is warm and cosy. Setting an alarm on your phone and leaving it just outside of your room is a way to distract your Chimp from winning the argument.

Application & Conclusion

What I’ve given here is a whistle-stop tour of the idea, and understanding the dynamics between our Human and Chimp brains is just the beginning of mastering our thoughts and behaviours, albeit a potentially very useful step.

I think the reason I like this book so much is that it gives a practical and memorable framework for something we all understand but struggle to pin down.

This framework not only helps in identifying the sources of our emotional responses but also provides steps to manage them. By naming and acknowledging our Chimp, we can create a mental space that allows us to pause and decide how we want to react, rather than being driven by instinctual and often unproductive emotions. This empowers us to take control of our actions in a more thoughtful and deliberate manner.

Recognising that there is something inside all of us, necessary for survival, that is the driving factor behind a lot of our nerves, anger, shyness and a whole host of emotion and feelings we don’t want to feel, can be liberating.

Separation is powerful.

When I first told people about my book last year, I was nervous and self-conscious. I didn’t want to open myself up to the potential of ridicule or skepticism. The reality was, I knew people would be a combination of impressed, proud and supportive (and of course, they were).

“Feel the fear and do it anyway” might make a nice soundbite or fridge magnet, but it’s not memorable or particularly valuable in the moment we are feeling that fear.

“Feeling the fear and realising it’s your Chimp named Nigel that is actually the source of the fear, and logically you want to do it, so go ahead and do it,” might just be more powerful.

Name your Chimp and talk to them. Maybe just don’t do it our loud, in public. Nothing will rile up your Chimp like ostracisation.

Thanks for reading, have a great week ✌🏻❤️