I Don't Know... What My New Year's Resolutions Should Be
What are the most important attributes for success?
It’s the end of December, where we reflect on the year that has passed, look forward to the next and many of us set resolutions.
I wanted to create goals and habits that deliver improvements against the most important attributes for success: for my career, for my health, for my relationship and my general happiness and enjoyment.
This led me to think – what are the most important attributes for life? A broad question, but having thought on it for a while, here are the top three that I came up with:
Optimism
“For myself I am an optimist – it does not seem to be much use to be anything else.” Winston Churchill
Why optimism?
Optimism can be defined as “being able to focus on a positive outcome, or as an expectancy that you can do certain things in the future”. With that in mind, it’s a logical place to start when coming up with resolutions or objectives.
Optimists see new starts as potential for something great. Starting a new year with optimism is a solid foundation when deciding what new goals I want to achieve and any habits I want to embed.
With a consistent belief that things will work out for the best, optimistic attitudes make people more resilient, more expansive and more ambitious. Being optimistic can result in good vibes, which are often contagious and attract other optimists.
By eliminating or reducing any fear of failure, optimism can also mean I’m more likely to get out of my comfort zone, which can lead to new experiences and growth. Not only that, but research has shown that optimistic people work harder, because they can clearly see the goals and the benefits they bring.
With growth and self-belief at the front of mind, optimism certainly seems like a good place to start when considering resolutions.
How to be more optimistic
But isn’t optimism something you either have, or don’t? According to a study by Kings College London, optimism is 25% inheritable, with other factors (such as socio-economic status) that are often out of our control also contributing. However, even with those factored in, that still leaves much of our optimism in scope for development.
The first logical step seems to be to re-define or re-align perception of optimism and its importance. Optimism is not simply a case of hoping for the best. Rather, it is being able to focus on the positive, potential result of hard work and commitment. Without action, optimism is simply wishful thinking.
When thinking about something that has gone well, something I am proud of, it’s important to then think back to the hard or smart work that went into achieve the result. This shows that when focus is directed, results are delivered, which in turn should result in optimism for future endeavours.
On the flip side, where there have been bad outcomes it is important to reflect objectively on where things were out of control, and to not blame oneself for those instances as the default response. Where those instances were within control, reflecting on those as learning opportunities and applying those learnings to future efforts is the true mark of optimism.
Focusing on what you can control, not dwelling on the past but learning from it and finding things you are good at and enjoy doing are simple yet tactical ways of becoming more optimistic, as they lead to positive and forward-thinking mindset.
However, when researching ways to become more optimistic, the real key theme that emerged was the topic of gratitude. Keeping a gratitude diary came up time and time again to recognise and practice that optimism is a way of mind, not an unchangeable way of being.
At the beginning or end of each day, writing out 2 or 3 things that you are grateful for - a simple habit to develop, to deliver a general state of thankfulness - which undoubtedly will lead to increased optimism about the future.
Proactivity
“Your behaviour is a function of your decisions, not your conditions” Stephen Covey
Why proactivity?
Starting from the perspective of health, it becomes obvious why proactivity is so important. Looking after yourself, staying fit and healthy is quite clearly a more effective strategy than waiting to get ill before starting to take care of yourself.
I, and many others, have found the same to be important for mental health, taking small daily measures to keep the mind healthy. Even when feeling good, this proves to be far more effective than taking corrective measures when feeling down.
The phrase “the prevention is better than the cure” is true for avoiding negative outcomes, but proactivity is also vital for making good things happen.
Anything good in my life has been through proactivity. Whether it is in my career or in my relationships, waiting for things to happen just does not work. It is only when stepping onto the front foot and taking initiative that things materialise, or change.
New year’s resolutions are typically about making things happen or improving your situation. No one else is going to do these things for you. In the case of relationships, people are not going to wait around for you to act. In my experience, not many people care whether you do or don’t act but setting a goal on January the 1st and then sitting back and waiting for it to happen is a sure-fire way of ensuring it will fail.
On reflection, proactivity is possibly the most obvious factor that separates those who are successful and those who are not. Life is increasingly complex and uncertain, and things are constantly changing. If we wait and only do what is asked of us, or what we are told, we will be left behind… so, how to work on improving it?
How to be more proactive?
Being proactive is not as simple as going out and making things happen. It needs balance, requires situational judgement and to be in the right context. Otherwise, it can backfire and make you seem impatient and unprepared.
Proactivity first requires reflection. Understanding what it is you want, and critically why you want it, is the first step. Without that clarity, actions are likely to be misguided. Drive is good but, without knowing what you want to achieve, can result in going round in circles.
I’ve also found you can’t be proactive without being organised. Staying ahead of non-urgent but important tasks and distractions enables you to spend more time determining what you want, preparing and putting in the work.
It has become clear that only once we have determined what it is we want, and are organised and have a plan, can we then take proactive action. Setting goals and taking responsibility for those goals is really what it boils down to.
Proactivity really means holding yourself to account, being consistent and taking control of decisions that are made that impact you. One way to implement proactivity is to tell someone else about your plans. Accountability is vital and you are less likely to simply let go of plans if someone else is aware and following up with you about them.
Thinking about times where you are reactive and reversing those is another good way of improving proactivity. For me, I find that I feel like I am most reactive or at the mercy of others when I spend too much time on my phone.
The most obvious action for me, however, is centred around the start of the day. We can begin on the front foot, every single day.
Waking up a little earlier in the morning to plan what would make today a success is powerful and simple. Starting your day proactively and deliberately, I’ve found to be the most impactful way of putting myself back in charge.
Persistence
Why persistence?
A recent study by Strava looked at 800million activities and used the analysis to show that most new year’s resolutions are abandoned by 19th January, less than 3-weeks after they began. Even those who make it further than that, by the second week of February, 80% of people will have reduced or given up on their goals.
Without persistence a resolution is worthless, and in my experience, can lead to feelings of negativity, exactly the opposite of what a good new year’s resolution should.
When reading up about the importance of persistence I was struck by this quote from Calvin Coolidge, former President of the USA:
“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; there is nothing more common than talented but unsuccessful men. Wisdom will not; wisdom without reward is almost as conventional as a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated bums. Persistence and determination are omnipotent. “
The part of the quote that most struck me was “there is nothing more common than talented but unsuccessful men”. Which really hits home the importance of persistence and follow-through. Talent, education, or skill alone is not enough.
I have begun projects in the past that I was convinced - and others I had spoken to agreed – were great ideas and worth pursuing. But as soon as I got a little fed-up, distracted or disengaged, I gave up. All this leads to is regret. As humans, we have a natural tendency to give up as soon as we hit our first obstacles or when things get difficult, especially when it comes to long-term goals.
Nothing worth having comes easily. Most of us will set goals and resolutions which are stretching and demanding. None of them will be truly achieved without persistence, that much is now obvious.
How to be more persistent?
When talking about proactivity, I already considered the importance of understanding what we want, why we want it and then making a plan. These are also pre-requisites for becoming more persistent.
To achieve persistence, planning and preparation is probably even more critical. Once we know what and why, outlining a definite action step is necessary to know how you will achieve what you want and stick to your goals. The simpler and clearer the steps, the more likely we are to stick to them, turning them in to habits that become second nature.
But we all know persistence is not as simple as setting a plan - the real challenge is when things don’t go to plan. Therefore, developing persistency also requires discipline and flexibility.
Discipline and persistence are similar and can be achieved in similar ways, such as small goals, making the goals visible and telling your friends (or someone who is going to drive extra accountability).
Perhaps the most important consideration, however, is perhaps not an obvious one – flexibility. It is very rare that things work out exactly as planned. Iteration and adjustments are going to be necessary no matter what the goal or challenge is. Real persistency is being able to continue even when nothing is going exactly to plan, coming up with new ways to achieve the goals that have been set.
For me, writing this blog and posting it as part of “What I Don’t Know” is part of my attempt to become more persistent. One of my goals is to create and share more, but any resolution should be able to be broken down into small, repeatable tasks and if relevant, made public. For me writing here once a week is a small way of trying to train myself. Doing it in public will increase my accountability, even if no one actually reads it!
They are linked
Having explored optimism, proactivity and persistence, the same themes keep coming up and they are clearly interlinked. Persistence is much easier if you are optimistic about what you will eventually achieve. Being optimistic is much easier is your proactivity leads to good results and you take the time to recognise it.
Also linked are the actions to take to develop these skills and if I were to summarise in three bullets I would do so as such:
- Break goals in to small, simple steps and make them visible.
- Each day, set out what would make the day a success. This will help to become proactive and persistent, and when you start seeing the results, you will become optimistic about the future.
- Reflect on gratitude. Not only will this make you generally more optimistic, it will also encourage you more often to keep going – the very essence of proactivity and persistence.