#30 - The Definition of Success

According to who?

I've been thinking about the definition of success.

"The accomplishment of a goal or purpose", according to Google.

I’ve been considering whether one can be 'successful' without accomplishing a stated goal or whether there are examples where achieving a goal may not constitute success.

Let me present some ideas and specific scenarios to explain.

Imagine you set out to win a race. Say it's a 5km run, and your goal is to come in first place.

In scenario 1, you train as well as you possibly can. You are controlled and disciplined and stick ruthlessly to your training plan. When race day arrives, you feel fantastic, both physically and with a great sense of pride in how you have behaved throughout your training. Nothing could have gone better.

The race starts, and you run as well as you can. Everything comes together, and you comfortably run your personal best.

But... you finish second. Whatever you had, you needed more to win.

Your training in scenario 2 has also gone well, but you have become slightly distracted in recent weeks and haven't always stuck to plan. You have taken a few shortcuts but arrive on the day feeling pretty good.

The race starts, and you hold the lead for 90% of it. As you reach the final stretch, you look behind and see another runner hot on your heels. You start to burn, feeling a lot of pain. You'll have to dig deep in the final few hundred metres, fighting with everything you have, and know you'll have to give it all and more to keep ahead of the other runner, who is now practically neck and neck.

You are fighting the pain, pushing yourself as hard as you possibly can until ... you stop... with 20m to go.

You decide you can't go any further and slow to a trot, stumbling across the line. You fail. You look up to catch a glimpse of this animal that held it together and beat you, only to realise they also gave up... just a couple of metres before you did. You've won the race. Everyone cheers and pats you on the back.

Only you know you caved in and quit just metres before the finish line. The victory feels hollow.

In which scenario do you feel more successful?

Now, imagine you've decided you need a new career challenge and set out to land a new job.

In scenario 1, your sights are set high. You've secured an interview for a huge job that would mark a significant career step. It's a long shot, but you nail all the required tests, impressing even yourself as you perform expertly through the first couple of stages. The hiring manager loves you, seemingly ready to take what would undoubtedly be a gamble on you.

The final stage is to meet the CEO. You're nervous, but you prepare diligently. The meeting arrives, and you crush it. The conversation is energetic and fun, and the CEO ends by commenting on how much they enjoyed it.

The next day, your phone rings. It's bad news. Everyone loved you and commented on how impressive you are. You’ve done incredibly well to even be in the conversation, and it was a tough choice, but they decided to go with a slightly safer bet. Someone with more relevant experience. There are lots of niceties and promises to keep in touch, but despite doing everything you could, you didn't get the job.

In scenario 2, your job search has been going on for a while, and it's starting to get you down. You aren't yet desperate, but patience is wearing thin.

An old colleague hears you're in the market for a new role and reaches out to put you in touch with someone who is hiring. You make a connection, and whilst there aren't immediate fireworks, you hit it off to the extent that they decide to offer you a job. It's a sideways move and one you're not instantly thrilled about, but you decide to take it as a way to change your current situation.

In which scenario should you feel more successful?

Arguably, all four of these outcomes could be considered ‘successful’. However, only the second outcome in each fits the dictionary definition of success.

The point here is not that there is a right or wrong answer but that the definition can be somewhat grey. Rather than focusing on achieving a particular goal or outcome, a nuanced definition of success should include internal/hidden metrics and perhaps a long-term bias.

This leads to this week's rule, the idea I have been mulling over recently.

The definition of success may (or may not) extend beyond the cold, hard ticking off of a goal or purpose.

True, there are some examples where that is not the case, and achieving the goal at all costs is the only thing that matters. Athletes winning Gold for their countries in the next few weeks in Paris will not care about how they did it or whether they could have gone faster or higher. A Gold medal is an immense success, no matter how it is achieved.

However, success can be about more than just the end result.

Success might mean embracing the process, finding fulfilment in effort, acknowledging progress.

Ultimately, success is a personal concept; defining it can lead to less disappointment and greater fulfilment.

In the job search example, seeing each interview process as a chance to expand your network and gain new experiences means that you can succeed, even when by the most crude definition, you fail.

If we define it in that way at the outset, knockbacks can become part of the journey toward success rather than the failures they would appear to be when looking in black-and-white terms.

There is a time and a place for acknowledging where success is success, and all else is a failure. Sometimes we just have to get shit done.

But life is about more than just ticking off goals one by one. I know in my life, there have been multiple scenarios where success has been hidden within failure and where I’ve blagged my way to what appears to be success. Only by taking the time to define success can we truly know that we are striving for the right thing.

Thanks for reading, see you next week ✌🏻❤️